I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
