I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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