marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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