Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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