u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
You left your phone here
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