fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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