I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
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