She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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