Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I'm at about main and main street
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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