thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
