Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
sex in a hospital.. check
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
