Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
