Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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