As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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