Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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