Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I think im going to throw up on grandma
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
