Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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