im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
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IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
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If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.