Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
Pick me up at 9.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.