May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize