yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
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At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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