don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize