Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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