His pubic hair was longer than his dick
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
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