we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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