You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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