ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
She announced her abortion via fbk
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Randomize
