Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
