guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
