the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
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You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
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