your parents love me but you hate me
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
