omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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