Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
