They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
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