oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I love you. Go after that dick
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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