jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
