I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
