you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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