Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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