Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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