About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
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The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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