I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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