R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
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