New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize