At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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