hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
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