Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
