I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
