I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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