I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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