Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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