I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize