When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
