Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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