I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
there is glitter all over my balls
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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