I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
she peed on how many people?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
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