I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
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