I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Randomize
