babies were throwing up all over the place
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
