I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
